Monday, January 25, 2010

I need to allow myself time.

I have a confession.  I do not have a case for my sunglasses.

Now before you think I have lost my mind and share that you too do not have a case for your sunglasses, let me finish!

I watched a woman today place her sunglasses into a case and then place the case in her purse.  Not an amazing sight, I understand...but it made me realize that I am not that woman.  The woman today also didn't have random things falling out of her purse when she reached in to get the sunglasses case.  Her whole person was calm with the ability to slow down, even just for a few additional seconds, and put her glasses in the case.

Wow, Becca...how deep...right?

I don't slow down.  I typically don't take the extra seconds to place my change from the drive-thru into a special cup that will then be available for parking meters.  Instead I scrounge around on the floor of my car hoping that I snag a quarter and not a dime.  I don't have a special box for my photos, carefully labeled by month, event or even by child.  I have boxes full of random photos that might be from high school and might be the birth of my son.  I can't be bothered to organize my make-up drawer by types of make-up, making sure to throw out anything older than a year.  I dig through the pile of years worth of crap that I have gathered and don't ever use.  Don't even ask about my spice cabinet.

At times I have tried.  I bought a label maker.  I've purchased all the organizer do-das on the market.  I have owned a sunglasses case in my lifetime.  It just won't stick.  I usually stick up my nose and say that I have more important things to do than worry about my daughters crayons daring to mix with her markers.  I try and justify the fact that by not being so concerned by those little things I have more time to other things.  But I secretly remember the feeling when I have opened the make-up drawer (after a fit of cleaning for some unknown reason) and felt so calmed by everything being where it is supposed to be.  How nice it was when I was cooking for those three weeks after I took the time to organize my spice cabinet.  In all honestly how much time to I save spending hours searching for things all the time instead of taking a hour to make a place for things to be? 

I was jealous of a woman who placed her sunglasses in a case today, because she allowed herself the time.  

4 comments:

  1. This is EXACTLY how I feel about women who have beautiful fingernails!

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  2. Tim Gonzalez-WilerJanuary 26, 2010 at 1:01 PM

    i LOVE getting things organized and knowing exactly where they should be. do i get any time at all to accomplish that with my 3 wonderful, crazy, full-of-energy kiddos? big, fat NOPE.

    i know where you're coming from on this post Becca. but hey, think of it this way. you were and always will be an artist, and artists need to live free and in the moment......um, yeah right, that's it, isn't it? ;o)

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  3. You speak my world. You speak my world. I finally found a purse at Kohl's that basically self-organizes for me. Now the diaper bag? yeah no.... just the other day in Baldwin, plenty of diapers, but do you think I had wipes? Make up? Probably what's in that big deep drawer I open once a month. :-)

    You speak my world.

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  4. isa Gonzalez-WilerFebruary 1, 2010 at 9:03 PM

    WELL SAID.

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